America's Got Talent ???

Rucker's Take: For years, I've tried to deny that it even existed by just changing the channel and pretending I didn't see anything. But Tuesday night, I didn't look away. I faced the issue head-on. And let me tell you people: it wasn't pretty.

Before we get too far, let's start with the basics:

• This is a show called America's Got Talent that has 2 judges that are British, and one judge that is David Hasselhoff (the two Brits are Piers Morgan and Sharon Osbourne). By its title and judge selection alone, AGT already shows that they have no idea what they're looking for. But the fact that none of the judges seem capable of assessing talent is oddly enough the least of the show's problems.
• The first season of AGT brought us the wildly popular child singing sensation, Bianca Ryan. What did you say? "Who's Bianca Ryan?" Exactly.
• Finally, the show is hosted by Jerry Springer, who actually used the line "He's an insurance broker that's just got one policy: singing his heart out," to introduce someone...
  

AGT will allow ANY kind of talent, which means that many of the acts are completely ridiculous, including but not limited to: ZOOperstars! (a group of dancing inflatable mascots),
the Wright Kids (a trio of folksy kids with an attitude),and this Elvis impersonator.This show is just completely out-of-control. It's basically a poor man's American Idol, and I think AI is terrible, so that says a lot. The judges treat pure mediocrity as if it's incredible and even add "YOU CAN HEADLINE VEGAS WITH THIS!" (a "headlining show" in Vegas is one of AGT's prizes).

Sure, they can headline as much as they want, but that doesn't mean anyone will come.

Even though I think the judges' opinions are utterly ridiculous, I understand that they're getting paid for what they do. If I was getting paid millions of dollars to "judge" talent, I would throw around expressions like "You could take down Whitney Houston with that performance!" too.

What I don't understand is the audience. Are they pumping nitrous oxide into the air conditioning systems? Something must make these seemingly normal people turn into rabid fans of these, sorry-but-I-have-to-say-this, near talentless performers. Like their TV audience cousins over at American Idol, they BOO!!! at every negative word from the judges, and YAAAY!!! at everything else.

America's Got Talent is by no means hurting anybody, except for maybe the contestants it convinces that they may have a future in show business.

OH MY GOSH IF I SEE KID ROCK ON TV SINGING "ALL SUMMER LONG" ONE MORE TIME I'LL SCREAM! Sorry, I just flipped onto Fashion Rocks for 4 seconds.

In conclusion, I just don't think we need all these "talent" shows anymore, for all the above reasons.

Rucker's Rating: Soooo Bad

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